Satan's Kiss
by mimzie
Summary: When Hermione finds out that she's pregnant and alone she doesn't know where to turn. Who can help make this impossible situation better?
1. Ripping off the BandAid

**Disclaimer: Not mine; I wish!!**

**A/N: Right, so...this is the first story I've written in months! There is no war and no Voldemort and Sirius didn't die! ('cos that would just complicate everything!!) I think they're going into 7th year!! Um....yeah, let me know what you think! **

**A/N2: And a huge huge thank you to the fantabulous CrystalBrooke!!! Thank you dearest. you rock! Ok, I have just decided...this story is dedicated to you!! Random, yes! **

**Anywho, Enjoy!!**

"Hermione, you look wrecked," Sirius commented, as he presented me with a steaming mug of tea.

"She won't stop crying," I replied, slightly frantic, even to my own ears. I held my baby closer, rocking her gently. "I've tried everything but nothing's working. What am I doing wrong?"

"Give her to me," Sirius said patiently.

I gently passed the baby into his waiting arms. He held her to his chest and murmured quietly to her. Bit by bit, her sobs abated to mere whimpers. Sirius swayed slightly, still whispering to her. I saw her little fist clench the material of his shirt, clinging to him. Within minutes, her eyes were closing and she was drifting off to sleep; a feat that she hadn't managed to achieve since about three this morning. Her cheeks were pink and tearstained, but at least she was quiet.

"How did you do that?" I cried. I had been trying to accomplish that very task since very early this morning. I was shockingly sleep deprived, absolutely starving and so scared that I'd been doing something to upset her that much. And Sirius had just waltzed in here and put her to sleep in minutes. How was that fair?!

"Experience, Hermione," he soothed. "Harry used to be just like this. Lily used spend hours trying to get him to doze off. You'll get the hang of this soon, I promise. But right now, I've made you some breakfast, go eat it. And then go get some sleep. I'll look after this little one."

I smiled gratefully, and escaped my bedroom.

As I left the room, I heard him talking to my daughter again. I paused to listen, unbeknownst to him.

"Now my sweetheart," he muttered, "are you making life very difficult for your mommy? She loves you so much, so be good. I know that we love her more than anything else in the world but sometimes…we make it difficult for her to see that."

Smiling to myself, I wandered toward the kitchen, leaving Sirius to mind my baby girl.

* * *

_7 months earlier_

"Hermione?" I heard Harry's voice call concernedly from the other side of the bathroom door. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I splashed some water on my face and wiped it away with a soft towel. "I'm fine," I called back. I slouched down against the bath, attempting to regain some composure. Morning sickness really took it out of you!

"Can we come in?" Ron asked; his voice was trembling slightly.

"No need," I replied, a lot more nonchalantly than I was feeling. "I'll be right out."

I dragged myself to my feet. There was no point looking in the mirror; I knew that I was deathly pale and generally a mess. I didn't need to see it confirmed.

"Can we get you anything? Water? Tea? Anything?" Ron questioned anxiously, as I slowly crossed the landing, back to my bedroom.

"No, no, it's ok. I'm fine," I insisted.

"No offence, Hermione, but you didn't sound all that fine a few minutes ago," Harry pointed out.

I sighed, defeated. I really couldn't hide this anymore. And if I was going to tell everyone else, I needed my two best friends for support.

"Can you guys sit down for a second?" I muttered. "There's something I need to tell you."

They complied, sitting on the edge of my bed. Both of them looked utterly terrified. Apparently, they were expecting the worst.

"I was going to tell everyone at dinner tonight," I began uneasily. "But I need you two to know first because I need you to…help me."

I turned away from them, physically unable to face them. Instead I opted to look out the window. It was so hot outside that Grimmauld Place had been deserted by Muggle and Wizard alike.

"What is it Hermione?" Harry asked gently.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. All I could think of was the 'ripping off the Band-Aid' analogy. The sooner I said it, the sooner it would be over.

"I'm pregnant," I managed to choke out.

There was no reply, so I turned to look at my two best friends. They both looked stunned…no, that was putting it mildly! No-one said a word for a full two minutes. Eventually I just couldn't take it anymore.

"Please say something," I pleaded, horrendously close to tears.

"Congratulations, I guess?" Ron muttered, apparently at a loss for words.

"Whose is it?" Harry asked.

"No-one you know," I replied. I intended on keeping the facts about my baby's conception to myself, for the time being at least.

"Have you told him?"

"I will," I lied.

"What are you going to do?"

I sighed, exasperated. I'd been asking myself the same question. "I suppose I won't be going back to school in September. And I…I'll figure something out"

"Well, we're here for you," Harry assured me. "We'll do whatever we can to help."

He left my bed, and carefully wrapped his arms around me, as if I were about to break. I clung to him, trying to take some comfort from him. But I did suddenly feel reassured, because as long as I had my two best friends with me, I could deal with this.

* * *

Dinner in Grimmauld Place was a noisy affair. Tonight, the Weasleys (all 9 of them!), Sirius, Harry and I were joined by Remus and Tonks. Oh yes, the perfect audience for my confession.

Molly bustled around the kitchen, dishing out food, offering seconds and thirds. I was so hungry I ended up going for thirds. Of course Fred and George felt the need to comment on this, but I just ignored them - I was eating for two now!

Harry and Ron were sitting on either side of me. Both of them had been shockingly protective since I'd made my little announcement. They hadn't even wanted to let me walk down the stairs unsupervised in case anything happened. I was just waiting for them to wrap me in bubble wrap and put me into safe keeping until the baby was born!

After dessert and three rounds of tea, people started yawning and declaring it was bedtime. This was my chance to tell them; if I didn't I'd just keep putting it off and next thing I'd have a baby in my arms and I'd have to try and explain that.

"Um…" I began uncertainly. "I need to tell you guys something."

Suddenly all eyes were on me.

"All of us?" Bill asked, confused.

I nodded. Awkwardly, I cleared my throat. Rip off the Band-Aid, I reminded myself.

I felt Ron take my hand under the table and give it a reassuring squeeze. I looked into his kind eyes, seeking reassurance. He smiled encouragingly.

"Its okay," he muttered, for my ears only. "Just say it; nothing bad is going to happen."

I squeezed his hand as I spoke. "I'm pregnant."

Silence descended around the table. I couldn't bear to look at anyone; my eyes remained focused on the table.

"Congratulations," Remus said sounding totally genuine, breaking the silence.

Everyone followed his lead with chorus of congratulations. I finally managed to drag my gaze from the table. Harry and Ron were watching me protectively. Ginny seemed genuinely thrilled. Everyone else just seemed totally shell-shocked. However, they had managed to plaster smiles on their faces.

"Well, Hermione, dear, it's very late and you must be exhausted" Mrs Weasley said gently, "why don't you go to bed. And we'll go shopping for vitamins and things tomorrow. Okay, dear?"

I nodded gratefully. I knew that the second I left the room I'd be the subject of frenzied discussion, but I was glad of the chance to escape. I had to stop myself running for the door.

As soon as it closed behind me, I breathed a sigh of relief. I wrapped my arms around my stomach.

"That's the hard part over," I told my little baby, "we're not on our own anymore."

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	2. What now?

**Disclaimer: Still not mine, you'll be the first to know when I make any progress!!**

**A****/N: Thank you so much for the fabulous reviews!!! You guys rock!! Ok this chapter is shorter than I would have liked, but I hereby promise that the next one will be more decent and updated sooner. **

**Also a huge thank you to the** **amazing xXxSecretdesirexXx for the quick beta, you're utterly wonderful dear!! **

**Um...enjoy!!**

"I don't know why I didn't notice before," Mrs Weasley commented, "you are positively glowing"

I wanted to roll my eyes. Glowing? That wasn't exactly the word I would use. I'd spent most of the morning with my head down the toilet; I'd just about managed to keep down the breakfast that Mrs. Weasley had insisted on and traipsing around Diagon Alley had made me so tired. I was thrilled when Mrs. Weasley decided that it was time for a break from shopping. Instead of replying to this compliment, I just smiled back at Mrs Weasley and took a sip of my tea.

"Forgive me for asking dear," she continued, "but have you told the father yet?"

Unconsciously, I folded my arms. "I will"

"Just make sure you do, he deserves to know" she said seriously.

I just nodded.

"So who is he?" Ginny asked bluntly.

Mrs Weasley threw Ginny her infamous 'don't-ask-inappropriate-questions-this-is-none-of-your-business' look, which her daughter ignored.

"No-one you know" I replied, trying not to sound too defensive.

"But _you_ do know, right?" Ginny pressed, still ignoring her mother.

"It's......complicated" I sighed, looking into my cup of tea.

"One night stand?"Ginny sounded so understanding I couldn't help but laugh. The idea of me, Hermione Granger, having meaningless sex with a total stranger was pretty amusing.

"I think that's enough" Mrs Weasley insisted, apparently not liking the direction of this conversation. "If Hermione wants to tell us who the father of her child is, we will listen, of course. But otherwise, we do not pry!" she gave Ginny a pointed look before turning back to me, "Now dear, I really think we need to get you a potion for morning sickness. I had a fabulous one when I was pregnant with Ginny. Let me see if I can remember what it was called..." she continued talking as she gathered up the shopping bags and left the teashop.

Ginny and I exchanged an amused glance and wandered after her, barely hearing a word of her monologue.

* * *

"Why is there a Gilderoy Lockhart book on the booklist?" Harry demanded.

"Haven't a clue" Ron muttered, looking through the rest of the list, "he's still in St. Mungo's isn't he?"

"He can't be coming back, right?" Harry continued, staring at the offending book title in disbelief.

The Hogwarts letters had arrived while we were shopping. Mine still lay unopened beside me. I couldn't bear to open it; it would totally depress me to read the letter and list while knowing that I couldn't go back. It was hard enough listening to the boys without adding to the heartbreak.

"Ewww" Ron exclaimed. "They're staring an advanced Transfiguration Club this year. Could you imagine?!"

I sighed. Yes, I could imagine. My name would have been first on the list and would have loved it.

"You okay, Hermione?" Harry asked, apparently noticing my obvious dejection.

"Fine, fine" I muttered. "I think I'm going to get something to eat"

"I'll get it for you" Ron offered, practically jumping out of his seat.

"I'm pregnant, not sick" I snapped. I knew he only meant well but I was too fed up to care.

I wandered down to the kitchen, leaving the poor boys looking utterly stunned.

Sirius and Remus were sitting at the kitchen table when I entered. With a vague smile, I went to raid the fridge.

"Did I see the Hogwarts letters this morning?" Sirius enquired idly.

"Yeah"

"Anything interesting?"

"Don't know, didn't open it" I replied, leaving the fridge with the ingredients for one hell of a sandwich. I proceeded to hunt for bread.

"You didn't open it?" Remus clarified, confused.

"Well no, I'm not going back so it would be pretty pointless. Have you seen the bread?"

"You're not going back?" Sirius echoed.

I sighed, why did they keep repeating everything I said? It really was annoying. "I can't"

"Because you're pregnant?"

I nodded dolefully.

"I'm sure we can sort something out Hermione" Remus soothed. "We can talk to Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey can look after you. You don't have to give up school. You love school."

"I can't go back" I said firmly, finally locating the bread. "I have to do what's best for the baby. I can't just do what I love anymore. There are more important things.

Both men surveyed me for a moment, apparently not quite believing their ears.

"So you're going back to your parents?" Remus asked gently.

I stared at the bread in front of me, blinking back tears. How was I going to tell them that I'd pretty much packed my bags and left home without explaining a word to my poor parents? I hadn't been able to tell them I was pregnant; I simply couldn't have them knowing what had happened. So I'd up and left.

"Um...probably not" I replied, my voice thick with unshed tears.

"So, where are you going?" Sirius asked, concern colouring his voice.

"You do have somewhere to go, right?" Remus persisted.

A tear escaped, followed by another and another, until the bread in front of me was a mere blur. I tried to wipe them away but they were falling too thick and too fast. Everything that I'd been holding in since that night was flooding out and I was falling apart pretty rapidly.

A strong pair of hands gripped my shoulders and turned me around before gripping me in a tight hug. I lay my head against a firm chest and clung to whoever was holding me.

Once the tears subsided, I pulled away to find myself gazing into the worried eyes of Sirius Black.

"You're going to stay here with me" he informed me.

I opened my mouth to protest, I really didn't want to intrude on him with all my pregnancy stuff. No guy needed that!

"Nothing you say will change my mind, Hermione. Now, you go sit with Remus and I'll bring you some tea."

"Thank you" I muttered, as more tears threatened.

He gave me one quick hug before sending me in the direction of the table and turning toward the teapot.

**Hope you liked!!**

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	3. And then there was one

**Hi! So it has been two years since I revisited this story and I am very sorry for that! I am recommiting to the story and I hope you will rejoin me. **

**I am literally just picking up where I left off. It's been a while since I wrote so please forgive my rustiness! **

**Enjoy!**

"Please, please tell me this doesn't mark the return of SPEW?" Ron gasped as he watched Hermione's knitting needles click happily beside her.

I smiled tiredly. I was too tired to defend my beloved organisation. "This, Ron dear," I gestured to the yellow wool that was slowly taking shape in the air, "is my attempt to clothe my child. I am making baby clothes. She will need something to wear."

"It could be a 'he'" Harry pointed out tentatively, "a 'he' like his father..."

I froze. The two of them had been making attempts to find out the identity of the father for the last few days now. Their reasoning being that they were going back to school in two days and they could beat up anyone who had put me 'in this state', to quote.

But I wasn't ready to let go of that information yet. The baby's conception had been far from conventional and I wasn't going to allow that stand in the way of the love she should have. The second I voiced it I knew everything would change.

"Hermione!" Remus' voice floated up the stairs sparing me the necessity of replying to the boys. "Someone's here to see you"

I dragged myself out of the chair. I was three months gone and starting to show slightly. This was making the prospect of the baby all too real. My moods were alternating between scared stiff and nervous excitement. I had a little person growing inside me and this little person needed me, she depended on me for survival.

Reality was dawning for the boys too so I barely got the opportunity to move without an over attentive chaperone. They seemed to feel that they had to take on the responsibility of the father. However they had turned into neurotic fussers!

Therefore, the short trip from the drawing room where we had been sitting down to the kitchen where my visitor was residing, required the two of them at either side of me clucking like mother hens. Ron held my hand and stood slightly in front of me while Harry walked a few steps behind me.

I was nearly looking forward to their departure in a couple of day's time! Space to breath was getting rarer and rarer.

The steps into the kitchen were manoeuvred with care. Being steep at the best of times, the boys had started seeing them as a threat. I knew that I was well able to nimbly make my way up and down the steps without a problem but no matter how many times I said this, the boys seemed deaf to the reality. As such, I was watching my feet when I entered the kitchen and was taken unaware when I heard the voice of my visitor.

"You two can leave" the cold voice ordered as we ambled through the door. I jumped at the sound of the snarl. My knees immediately went weak. I clutched at Harry's arm before looking up to meet the penetrating stare of Severus Snape.

"Out" Snape repeated.

"No, no" I whimpered, "please stay. Please."

"You can't tell us what to do. We're not in school now" Ron replied, making a valiant attempt to sound unafraid; an attempt that brought a sneer to Snape's austere face.

"What was that Weasley?"

"Maybe you two should go" Sirius said calmly, alerting me, for the first time, to his presence. "I will stay with her. He can hardly attempt to kick me out of my own kitchen."

Snape looked as if he might be tempted to try.

"Now, Hermione you sit over here with me" Sirius ordered, gesturing to the empty seat beside him. "And you might get to the point? There is enough filth around this house without your presence."

"The Headmaster," Snape drawled, "wishes to know why you did not confirm your registration"

It took all my strength to meet his grey eyes. I clenched my fists on my lap and forced myself to sound like I wasn't dying inside. "I'm pregnant and will not be returning to school"

"Pregnant?" For a moment he was shaken but he pulled himself together after an infinitesimal lapse. "How did the perfect Ms. Granger get herself into that condition?"

"You know perfectly well" I hissed, feigning a confidence that didn't exist.

I couldn't sit there anymore with him staring at me like that. Storming out was not a very Hermione Granger thing to do but I just wanted to get out of there. Sirius called after me put I opted to ignore him. I pushed past Ron and Harry, who were waiting for me outside.

I just wanted to get to my room.

* * *

By seven o'clock on the morning of the 1st of September a cacophonic excitement filled the old house. Mrs. Weasley had insisted that I got a sleep in but after Ginny's third tiptoed visit into the room I couldn't pretend to be asleep anymore.

Fred and George had bewitched a Muggle digital clock to count down the time until they had to leave for Kings Cross. It did, however, have an annoying habit of shouting out the time every half hour. So much so Mrs Weasley had threatened to throw it in the Thames at least five times.

The twins, of course, were not going to Hogwarts but their car was escorting half the crowd to the station.

The goodbyes took longer than I would have liked.

"And we'll see you at Christmas" Harry promised hugging me for the third time.

"I'll be as big as a house by then!" I groaned, wiping away the tears. I really thought I wouldn't mind their departure but I had been teary since I got up that morning – by this point I was in full blown floods of tears.

Mrs Weasley kept patting my back and muttering about hormones, while simultaneously organising everyone. Sirius and Remus, recognising my distress, were hovering close to me. It was as if they wanted to help but were unsure as to how.

Sirius was being especially tentative. I had been attempting to avoid Sirius' furtive glances for the last two days. There was no doubt in my mind that Sirius had already told Remus all about the episode in the kitchen. I knew that once the others had left I could no longer avoid them, but for now I needed to keep my head down.

"And we will write to you all the time" Ginny chimed in. "And-"

"We're late" Mrs Weasley declared, cutting across her daughter. "Out, out, out!" She began shepherding her flock toward the door. "Hermione dear, I will call into see you in a day or two, once I get the house back together." After a fleeting hug she followed the rest of them out the door.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, as the hallway emptied.

Suddenly the house felt very empty.

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	4. A few bumps in the road

**Disclaimer : not mine! **

**This chapter is hugely lacking dialogue so I am sorry if it drags a little! Bear with me! **

**Enjoy! **

And thus it began.

Remus was really only ever in and out of the house – not technically living there. Leaving Sirius and I alone to rattle around in a too large house.

Sirius kept to himself for the most part. He did attempt to question me about Snape on a few occasions but quickly realised that he was getting no more information than 'it's nothing'.

We happily cohabited. In the beginning, I spent my days reading books and knitting baby clothes. Sirius was still trying to make the house safe for humans and that commandeered most of his time. Occasionally I would try to help but I would be sent back with the order to 'rest' ringing in my ears.

Nonetheless, I had not been able to restrain my urge to do some light decorating. I made it my mission to transform the kitchen from just a cold stone room where people gather to a nice homely kitchen. The wonders some new curtains and strategically placed lighting can do amazed even me.

Noticing that I was badly in need of a project, Sirius allocated a room for the baby and said I could do whatever I wanted to make it the nursery I'd always dreamed of. Suddenly my days were filled with paint and fabric samples and enough catalogues to paper the room with. Sirius wanted to use magic to decorate, but I was determined to do it the Muggle way – with, perhaps, a few added short cuts.

Seeing as I couldn't traipse up and down ladders and the paint fumes made the world spin around me, Sirius was glad to play handyman. The whole process of painting fascinated Sirius. He confided in me that had seen Lily paint before and found it plain odd but now that he got the chance to do it himself he saw a whole other side to it - a side lost on Muggles for the most part. The phrase 'as boring as watching paint dry' rolls off the tongue of most Muggles but Sirius was so proud of his work he used literally watch it dry!

But then it happened.

Right smack bang in the middle of my second trimester, I got into my 'horny phase'. Suddenly the man I always had a little school-girl crush on became irresistible!

I began following Sirius around, resembling a lovelorn puppy I am afraid to say. I laughed rapturously at all his jokes and gazed adoringly at him. If he happened to brush up against me as we cooked dinner, I became euphoric.

Sirius had been so lonely for such a long time that he was thrilled with the attention. I don't think he realised what I meant by it - I very much doubt the idea ever occurred to him. Nonetheless he was more than happy to regale me with stories of his many exploits with James. More often than not my laughter was genuine as opposed to flirty giggling. I always thought the Weasley twins were bad but they deserved a couple of bright shiny halos compared to James and Sirius

His opening up about his past made it easier for me to do the same. I felt myself getting closer to him; I opened up to him about my worries about having a baby and not finishing school. He was always ready with a friendly word and a shoulder to cry on. And let me tell you, the feeling of having those muscular arms wrapped around me sent thrills through me. He made me feel safe in a world that was falling apart around me.

Sadly it was those muscular arms that would get me in trouble.

Sirius was just clearing away the dinner plates after quite a tasty pasta dish while I was pushing myself out of the seat. I was starting to get quite big and chairs were quickly becoming the enemy!

Just as I got to my feet, I swayed slightly. Thinking I was going to fall I grabbed onto the table, but not before two muscular arms wrapped themselves around me.

"You ok?" Sirius demanded trying to get me to my feet again.

I nodded slowly. Looking up, I realised how close our faces were, I could almost count his eyelashes.

A sudden urge overcame me.

It was now or never.

I went for it.

Hesitantly I pressed my lips to his. I feared rejection so much that I was numb to nerves and deaf to the voice that was in my head screaming 'DON'T DO IT!'

For a fleeting moment he kissed back. My heart was racing, I could hear the blood pounding in my ears. He was kissing back! Maybe he liked me too. Maybe I wasn't repulsive or too young.

All these thoughts flew through my head just as he pulled away.

"Hermione..." he muttered, with a tinge of sadness to his voice.

My heart sank. "It's ok, it's ok. Why don't we just forget–"

He cut across me. "Listen Hermione, you are a beautiful woman. Any man would have to be blind not to notice you. I love having you here and I have loved getting to know you. You have taken away the usual loneliness I felt all day everyday and replaced it with...curtains and other girly things around the house. I didn't think it would but you being here has brightened up this dump. But honey, you are pregnant and that changes everything. You are emotional and your hormones are all over the place. If I kissed you, if I let...this happen I would be taking advantage of an already vulnerable situation. You are amazing, Hermione. So, no awkwardness, ok? We won't ruin what we already have."

I wanted to answer. I wanted to say that I didn't want to ruin it either and I loved being here too and I loved how he made me laugh but I didn't get a chance.

Before I could open my mouth, Lupin and Tonks wandered through the door. They were clearly completely oblivious to what they were walking in to.

"I love what you've done with the place, Hermione" Tonks exclaimed after the customary niceties. "I always thought this place had a bit of a dungeon feel to it before!"

I smiled in thanks, my mind still on what Sirius had said.

"Are you ok, Hermione?" Remus asked, watching me suspiciously.

"Yeah...fine...you know I've got a bit of a headache" I lied, seeing my chance to escape to ponder. "Must be the paint fumes. I'm going to go to bed, if you don't mind."

I headed for the door before they had a chance to cut me off.

"Hermione?" Sirius called as I passed through the doorway.

I turned, hoping for something but not quite sure what.

"Good night" he said.

**Hope you liked!**

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**xxx**


	5. Christmas Times

**Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine!**

**Thank you all so much for your reviews and support! A special thanks to my wonderful friend, Eibhlín, who not only gave this chapter a quick beta but also keeps my stories on track!**

**Enjoy!**

"Hedwig is waiting for you in the kitchen" Sirius called up the stairs.

"Thanks" I called back, still glaring at my reflection in the mirror. It was the middle of December and I was seven months gone. I felt, and looked, like a baby elephant.

I waddled down the stairs, gripping onto the banister for dear life. Every morning I idly wondered how I could connect the kitchen and my bedroom to minimize the journey. By the time I arrived in the kitchen I was glad of the seat.

Hedwig hopped over to me and perched herself on my shoulder.

"Hello" I cooed gently, rubbing her white feathers.

She gave a content 'hoot' in reply and moved down to glean some refreshment from my pumpkin juice.

"Any cravings this morning?" Sirius asked, dishing enough egg and bacon onto my plate to feed at least three teenage boys.

"Nope," I laughed, "we shall be having a normal breakfast this morning"

A smile spread across his face too. Doubtless he was reliving the order of anchovies and olives I wanted for breakfast then morning before.

I broke the seal on the letter Hedwig had presented me with and let the words wash over me. It was like any other letter I'd received from Hogwarts, full of stories and news. These letters were obviously co-written, as it was easy to differentiate between Ron's scrawl and Harry's tiny scrunched up writing. Ginny's elegant cursive even appeared from time to time.

Reading the letter filled me with both joy and sadness. Harry went into great detail about a spectacular catch of the snitch he made in an important match between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw. Ron wrote proudly about his mastering of a new charm. He had been struggling with it since his last letter so his sheer jubilation made me laugh. Ginny's contribution was just to keep me up-to-date on the gossip that was circulating the school – reading it made me feel as if I was in the loop and not completely ostracised in an old creaky house in London.

I had to squint to read the last words on the parchment, which were scrunched into the very bottom of the sheet.

'_Mum says you must come to spend Christmas in the Burrow and she said no excuses.'_

"Anything interesting?" Sirius asked conversely.

"They…uh…want me to spend Christmas in the Burrow" I muttered, folding the letter carefully.

I could have imagined it but I was sure that a shadow fell over Sirius' face when I uttered those words.

"Oh? Will you?"

I took a moment to weigh up the options in my head. Of course I wanted to see my friends and there was nothing quite like the hectic Christmas cheer found in the Burrow. But if I went Sirius couldn't come. Dumbledore was very strict on this, not even the Burrow was a safe place for him. I couldn't leave him alone at Christmas time but at the same time I couldn't ask him to risk his safety for me and come with me.

For months Sirius had been my constant companion now. He had rubbed my sore feet and indulged all my random cravings. When the baby kicked for the first time, it was his hand I pressed to my belly to share the moment.

If I went to the Burrow for a few days, as requested, he wouldn't be there. He wouldn't be the first face I saw in the morning or the last at night and, for some reason, the very idea made me ache inside.

"You know the smell of meat makes me nauseous, I'd just be looking for trouble by going there for Christmas dinner" I assured him, being careful not to allude to the real reason. "I might pop over for an hour in the evening but I see no reason to leave when I am so happy here."

An instant smile, full of warmth, coloured Sirius' face.

"We might order in Chinese for Christmas dinner" I mused as I dug into my breakfast.

"….order in?" Sirius repeated uncertainly.

Baffled by the wonders that had never reached the wizarding world I assured him that I would show him on Christmas day.

* * *

I was starting to feel like the queen!

I was ordered to sit in a comfy armchair that was conjured up and placed next to the fire while the Christmas Eve soirée happened around me. If I so much as moved either Harry or Ron leapt to my aid.

It was very odd having this many people in my lovely new decorated kitchen (which had elicited many oohs and aahs from the new comers). Every now and again I would search the crowd for Sirius' face, just to glean familiar comfort from it. Sometimes he was smiling and laughing, sometimes he was in deep conversation and sometimes he was watching me. Whenever our eyes met a thrill ran through me and I couldn't but smile.

About two hours into the party, he appeared at my side.

"You're looking pale" he declared, worry tinging his voice, "are you feeling ok?"

"It's weird having all these people around, isn't it?"

He smiled down on me, "it is a bit nosier than we're used to. Does the baby mind?"

I assured him that the baby was kicking away happily, seemingly she was quite enjoying the chaos. I placed his hand on my bump to prove my point. His smile widened to colour his whole face with glee.

"Can I give you your present now?" he asked.

"It's not Christmas yet" I pointed out.

He turned his wand toward the clock that had stopped working some time ago – though it was such a pretty antique I had left it on the mantelpiece. Under the influence of his wand the hands dutifully moved from their position at nine and three to both point to twelve.

"Close enough?" he asked mischievously.

"Close enough" I giggled. He helped me up and brought me to the ground floor drawing room – a room he had cleared especially for me so I wouldn't have to traipse up and down the stairs ten times a day.

"I couldn't decide what to get you for Christmas" he began once we were settled on the comfortable sofa. "I was thinking something for the baby but I wanted to get you something too – something special, not just something you see on Christmas day and then never look at again.

"When James and Lily died, I inherited everything and I will pass it onto Harry when the time is right. But I was looking in Lily's old jewellery box a few weeks ago and I found a bracelet that James gave her when she was pregnant. It meant the whole world to her and she never took it off. Obviously I wasn't going to give you Lily's bracelet but I think I found something that may fit the bill.

So…" he took a big square box from inside his pocket. The wrapping was so beautiful I hesitated to tear it.

Sirius sat on the edge of his seat, as I carefully undid the ribbon and undid the sticky tape holding it together without destroying the wrapping paper. Inside the box was a beautiful necklace that I suspected was platinum. The chain was intricate and glistened slightly under the candle light. The pendant that dropped from the chain was a very delicate flower. Every petal was so carefully crafted, it was almost as if a real flower had been coated it this precious metal.

"It's an enchanted necklace. When the baby is born his or her birthstone will appear right…there" he explained pointing to the centre of the flower where there a little gem was glistened contently. "It's a diamond for now, if that will suffice!"

"Oh Sirius" I gasped, utterly speechless.

"Do you like it?"

"It's so beautiful. Could you put it on for me?"

He practically bounced off the chair in his eagerness to fulfil this request. Once it was secure he knelt in front of me to survey his work.

"It can be exchanged if you don't like it" he assured me anxiously fingering the pendant.

"I love it, honestly. There is nothing more perfect in the whole world."

I gazed into his dark eyes. There I saw all my feelings mirrored exactly, the fear, the nerves, the comfort, the joy.

He placed his hand on my cheek. "It looks beautiful on you" he muttered. "Perfect."

"Happy Christmas my angel" he whispered before gently kissing my tear stained cheek.

**Thank you for reading!**

**Hope you liked!**

**xxx**


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